Wednesday, May 28, 2008

silent uneasiness


dont know what to do... just sitting idly on my pc...everything in its normal condition..

There is something in me who wants to scream out...get out from this normal routine and do something diffrent... something innovative...something which makes me feel proud of maself...
something which i always dreamt about....

and that is not all , to add up to my misery my repentance is killin me, dont know how to get rid of my one and only mistake, m not sure whether it was a mistake or not...but m repenting ..like hell
just when i think tht i am earthing ma past behind...nd now everything is gonna be okay.... it comes back.... and everytime with a stronger BANG!! .. cant figure out when i'll overcome this...

no ideas why i became so nonchalant..as far as i know maself...i was jovial..always looking towards the brighter side ....

sometimes i thing itz just a cloud of pessimism and one day it will go... i pray that it should be cloud only coz if it iz not then i am no more that old skinny brat anymore.

I think that this is a side effect of escalating age ....the more u get old the lesser you will be yourself..we are like projects..where we ammend ourself with time..thus being more compatible but at the same tym losing our older charms

whatever it is..i'm happy but not happy nemore unless and until i get what i always wanted i wont be normal ....this uneasiness to be someone will always haunt me!!!